Bloodied Knife
by TigerTerror
Summary: TT at 11pm plus too many chocolate shakes plus a school project of selfMutilation equals: A kinda OOC Kai and a very angsty storyline. It's Finished!
1. Old Memories

Yeah, another Angst-y Kai fic. I have to do a project about self-mutitaion and all that, and I sorta came up with this.  
  
*ducks as Rabid Kai fans come towards her wielding pitchforks* Don't Kill Me!! I didn't mean to! It wouldn;t get out of my head!!  
  
Disclaimer: If I by shares with Hasbro, can I say I own beyblade _Then_?  
  
Review!! Review I tell you!! (hey, that ryhmes! ^^)  
  
Standing in the bathroom, a towel around his waist, the garnet-eyed teen stared down at the scars running across his lower arms. He'd almost forgotten they existed; they'd been covered up so long.  
  
Suddenly ignorant to where he was, Kai ran a finger over the marks. He remembered how each of them had occurred.  
  
Most of them were from his grandfather's lessons; most of them had been intended to make him stronger, immune to pain.  
  
A few of them, however...  
  
A few of them were simply an attempt to escape the pain. Not the pain the wounds inflicted, no, he could deal with that pain.  
  
But the pain in his heart, the eternal throbbing inside of him could not be so easily dealt with. Causing physical pain could numb the inner, however, blocking it out.  
  
But it always came back.  
  
That's why he'd kept doing it...  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
The first time had been innocent enough. He'd been eight. Leaning on the wall, wrapping bandages around one of his bloodied arms.  
  
Focusing on the pain, he'd rhythmically wrapped the arm, trying to block out the misery and self-pity that threatened to overflow. It wasn't like he wanted this. He just wanted to be a normal kid, be allowed to do normal things. Have a normal life where the only pain he had to worry about was scraping his knees and such.  
  
But he couldn't seem to block out the thoughts that filled his head, threatening to burst out of him in a torrent of self-pitying tears.  
  
An old nail had been sticking out of the wall, and his arm had caught on it, tearing the flesh a few centimeters before coming out of his arm.  
  
It had stung, and Kai had bit back a cry- more of surprise than anything else- before examining the wound. It was small, a flesh wound, harmless.  
  
But it still hurt. It made Kai curious, how such a small wound could hurt so much. It made Kai forget about the pain inside.  
  
Pulling out the nail, Kai had examined it. It hadn't been anything special, just an old, bent nail. It wasn't even rusty.  
  
But it seemed to give his so much relief.  
  
He hadn't even really realized what he was doing the first time he'd done it deliberately. The next week, he felt as if his mind would explode from all the pressure on it. And then he'd remembered how much the cut- now a scab on his arm- had helped.  
  
He'd taken a knife- a dagger with a dark stone set in the handle- and run it down his arm, a much neater cut than those his grandfather had given him. And it had helped, so much. It was as if the sticky trail of blood running down his arm, dripping of his elbow, were all the thoughts and feelings, escaping through a simple cut.  
  
Kai ran the blade down his arm again...  
  
Release.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
With a shake of his head, Kai forcefully pulled himself out of his memories. That had been a long time ago. He'd stopped cutting years ago, though it had been hard, he'd been so used to escaping the hurt that way...  
  
He stopped because he didn't want to end up like Voltaire; the man that he- and inwardly, Kai shuddered at this- had called his grandfather for so long.  
  
By hurting people that way, even himself, how different was he? That was the thought, the question, which had driven Kai to stop.  
  
Instead, he started burying himself away. He'd blocked all emotions off, what he couldn't feel could hurt him. Right?  
  
Kai changed into a clean set of clothes, pulling the gauntlets back out, hiding the scars he bore, mere symbols of his inner scars.  
  
He was beginning to feel again, Kai knew it. He was beginning to feel the hurt inside him again, pounding in his head, screaming for an escape.  
  
Something about being with the BladeBreakers, the way they continuously tried to get him to come out of his emotionless shell, was beginning to crack his impassive armor. They just kept at it, and, over a long period of time, they were chipping away at his defenses, little by little.  
  
But once a crack had been made, the thoughts and emotions dripped though, making the hole larger, thus more emotions could get through, making it larger again.  
  
A cycle, and he was trapped, unable to stop it.  
  
Kai left the bathroom, walking into the room he shared with Ray. The tiger was lying, still asleep in his bed. Just like the others were. Just like every other morning, they slept until Kai woke them, to train.  
  
Kai scowled slightly, couldn't they even wake up in time?  
  
And there it was again, that little voice in the back of his head, the voice he thought he'd gotten rid of.  
  
/You just wish you were like them. Without a care in the world apart from when the next meal it./ Kai glared at thin air as he walked towards his beside table, intending to take Dranzer and practice for a while before he woke the others.  
  
And the voice just kept talking, telling him what a cold bastard he was.  
  
How he had turned out just like Voltaire.  
  
It made Kai want to scream. But that wasn't what he wanted. No, what he really wanted was release.  
  
Kai stopped short, suddenly, staring at something, lying on the bedside table, which made him freeze, his blood run ice cold.  
  
He loathed the sight, and at the same time, he savored it.  
  
Lying on the table, next to his beyblade, was a knife- a dagger with a dark stone set in the handle. The dagger looked just the same as it always had.  
  
Except this time, the blade was stained red with blood. 


	2. Renewal

TT: I was tempted not to do another chapter, but that would make m reviewers hurt me.  
  
Kai: You have reviewers?  
  
TT: ...I have _A_ reviwer, happy now?  
  
Kai: No, I was hoping that no one would review and you'd get all depressed and vow never to write again.  
  
TT: *sweatdrops* Uh, yeah, anyway. Thanks for reviewing, DragonBlade. And I hope lots of other people review too! ^^  
  
Kai: I don't.  
  
TT: I didn't ask you. *coughs* On with the ficcy!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Kai continued to gaze, spellbound, at the weapon in front of him. Suddenly, he found it hard to breathe. His breathe caught in his throat.  
  
Kai picked it up, turning it over in his hands. The blood on it was dried from long ago, crumbling off in his hands, staining them red.  
  
Just as they'd been stained before. The scent of blood flittered in from his senses. It was a very old smell, faded to almost nothing by time.  
  
The knife gleamed, reflected light onto the walls. Even the light itself was stained red, as if the walls were bleeding as Kai so often had.  
  
The knife was taunting him. Luring him, enticing him to use it again.  
  
And Kai didn't know if he could resist.  
  
He wasn't sure how long he stood there, his garnet eyes clouded with forgotten emotion. Just staring, always staring.  
  
Kai's hand shook slightly as he raised the knife, he could see one eye reflected in it. He could see the longing, the temptation, the horror and confusion in his eyes.  
  
Emotions and questions that threatened to overflow. But, where would that leave him? Another question, another thought he wanted to ignore and forget.  
  
Frowning slightly, Kai ran a finger over the blade. He just wanted to escape it all, everything he had become. Everything he was. He wanted an escape...  
  
But did he want this escape?  
  
His eyes widened slightly as a slight surge of pain suddenly made itself known. He looked down. He'd been so preoccupied with his thoughts, he hadn't paid attention and had cut his thumb on the blade.  
  
Fresh blood mixed with old.  
  
The cut was harmless, its was hardly even bleeding. Only a slight drop of blood escaped from it.  
  
But with it, came a slight sense of satisfaction, and relief. New pain, taking away new thoughts that threatened to drive him to the edge.  
  
It was intoxicating, addictive.  
  
Kai froze as Ray made a sound, turning over in his bed so that the sleeping teen was facing him.  
  
Kai silently dived back into the bathroom, the knife still in his hand. Closing and locking the door behind him, Kai sank to the ground, staring at the knife.  
  
There was a voice at the back of his head, telling him to do it, to get rid of the pain. That maybe, just maybe, this time it would be for good.  
  
Kai slid one of the gauntlets off. The blade glinted. A part of him screamed the just throw the knife away, to break the spell, to just stop what he was doing!  
  
But Kai wasn't listening to that anymore. He couldn't hear it, all he was aware of were the painful sentiments that were pounding through he, screaming to be let out.  
  
Kai lifted the dagger, and ran it ever-so-gently down his lower arm. A long cut trailed after it, followed by a steady torrent of blood. But it wasn't painful. On the contrary, it was soothing. As the blood dripped away, so did the thoughts and emotions.  
  
There was a banging on the door. "Kai? Are you done in there?" Ray's voice filtered through the wood.  
  
Jumping to his feet, Kai shoved the knife into his pocket and ran his arm under the tap while looking for some bandages. "Yeah yeah, give me a minute." Kai growled back. Wrapping the arm, Kai pulled his gauntlet back on and opened the bathroom door, walking past Ray coolly. "Satisfied?"  
  
Ignoring the other blader, Ray walked into the bathroom and closed it behind him. Stripping down and turning on the shower, Ray casually glanced around the bathroom, then saw something that made him frown.  
  
'Why is there wet blood on the floor?' 


	3. Discovered

TT: I wanna thank my two reviewers, and apologies if I mess the story up now.  
  
Oh, and I don't like the topic of self-harm either, Akaiciel. I can't believe I'm doing this!!  
  
*points to her freaky little brother* It's all his fault!  
  
I'll go hide behind my bed until this entire fic is over.  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Not even the plot. That belongs to the gaint plot bunny living in my closet.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Hey Kai, why is there blood on the bathroom floor?" Ray asked his garnet-eyed teammate as he walked out of the bathroom, running a brush through his long hair.  
  
Kai felt his pulse quicken for a moment. He'd let the blood drip onto the floor, how could he be so stupid?! There was no way he could let the others find out. He would _not_ show weakness in front of the others.  
  
Ray was waiting patiently for an answer. Was that concern in his eyes? No, no one had ever been concerned about him, why would they start now?  
  
"I accidentally cut myself on a razor." Kai's voice was calm, but inside he was praying that Ray would just let the subject drop. He didn't want this discussion to go on any more than it had to.  
  
Ray was slightly surprised, Kai had actually given him an answer other than 'hnn' And 'not your business'! Someone get out the record books. "You want me to have a look at it?" Ray walked over to Kai, who turned away stubbornly.  
  
"I'm fine." Now that was much more of a Kai answer. Knowing better than to push his luck, Ray just shrugged.  
  
"Alright. I was just concerned." Ray paused, waiting to see if Kai would reply.  
  
Instead, the two-tone haired blader just growled, "Leave me alone." And left the room, going to who-knows-where.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Kai stalked along the streets, glaring at the pavement at his feet. Who could Ray say he was concerned? About him!? Probably the only person in the world who cared for no one!  
  
Ray just couldn't be concerned. No one had ever cared about him in the past, and people certainly weren't going to start now.  
  
Why would anyone care, anyway? Its not like he cared for anyone else. Emotions were a weakness, after all. Caring about anyone but yourself would just slow you down; result in you getting hurt eventually.  
  
So why would Ray say he cared?  
  
'Arg!' Kai mentally screamed in frustration and kicked a rock into the gutter. Another question, another thought to add to his confusion. Threatening to drive him insane.  
  
And, much to Kai's horror, an image of the knife, dripping with blood came to mind. But at the same time it horrified him, it chased away the emotions tearing at him. For the time being at least.  
  
And, despite what Kai thought, he still found himself thinking about it, about how cutting himself had eased the feelings that were destroying his mental defenses.  
  
To his dismay, another thought entered his mind. And no matter how hard he tried; he couldn't seem to shake it. 'Maybe…'  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Kai growled at Ray, leaping off the bed and stalking out the door with an air of anger and frustration.  
  
Ray sighed in irritation, staring after him. What did he do this time? Why did the other blader have to be so hard to figure out?  
  
Why the heck did he insist on pushing everyone away, anyhow?  
  
Ray answered his own question, 'Because he's Kai.' The thought made him smile. Who was he kidding, Kai was Kai, and nothing could change that. There was no point getting angry, it wouldn't do any good.  
  
And to be quite honest, Ray didn't think he'd survive the heart attack if Kai did suddenly change and open up or act cheerful.  
  
Ray's eyes spotted something glint on the ground. He vaguely recalled the object falling out of Kai's pocket as he left.  
  
Ray walked to the door and opened it, hoping that Kai was still nearby.  
  
"Kai, you dropped something!" Ray called, but got no reply from the other teen. No sign he was still in the building. Ray shook his head and picked the object off the floor where it had fallen.  
  
As soon as he saw what it was, his breath caught in his throat. He made a slight choking sound in shock and distress. Surely he was dreaming. Ray prayed that it wasn't real, but he knew it was.  
  
In his hand sat the dagger, all of it, from the tip of the blade to the dark stone in its handle was lightly coated with fresh, slightly dripping blood. 


	4. The Confrontation

Kai: The author is still hiding from herself behind her bed... And yet at the same time, she's managed to get a hold of some paper and a pencil and is writing out the next chapter.  
  
TT: *from another room* Finished! Okay, even if this chappie's terrible, least I tried.  
  
Kai: -_-' *sarcastic* Great. Oh, and on another note, she's not going to turn this into a Kai/Ray fic *shudders* thank goodness. Its sticking with plain Angst, which could either be a bad or good thing...  
  
*a paper airplane hits Kai on the head, followed by a pencil*  
  
TT: Post the fic!  
  
Kai: .........If I say she owns beyblade, will the lawyers come and take her away?  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Kai slowly made his way back to the hotel. Keeping to the alleys as opposed the crowded streets, he found that he was able to continuing thinking as he headed back.  
  
He'd done it, he still couldn't believe it. He'd gone back to the knife, and run it down his arm, just as he used to. Unconsciously, Kai ran his other hand down the shielded arm in question.  
  
He glared at thin air. How could he do that? Just pick up a knife and cut himself again. Hadn't he gone through this, waged war against himself to stop the habit?  
  
Kai punched the wall next to him, ignoring the graze and slight trickle of blood that resulted.  
  
Kai cursed himself; he didn't want to go through this again! He didn't want to look down at the gauntlets covering his arms, and know they were just hiding fresh injuries.  
  
He didn't want to turn out like Voltaire, hurting people, even himself, like this.  
  
But more than anything else, he didn't want to admit, it had given him relief to do so. He didn't want to have to admit he'd enjoyed the effect it had.  
  
He didn't want to live like this, knowing he hadn't had enough self-control to stop himself.  
  
And that a part of him hadn't wanted to stop himself.  
  
Kai put a hand in his pocket, fishing for the knife. His eyes widened as he discovered it was missing. Which would mean... He'd left it... In the Room... With... Ray...  
  
'Oh no.'  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Ray walked into the hotel's restaurant, half-hoping Kai would be telling Tyson to train. No such luck.  
  
Walking up to Max, who was cheerfully eating a sugar-filled meal, Kenny, who was typing on Dizzy, and Tyson, who was coming back from his 6th trip to the buffet table. He waved to them and sat down. "You guys seen Kai?"  
  
Tyson briefly looked up from his plate, "The sourpuss?" The other's winched as food flew out of his mouth.  
  
"Tyson, _please_ don't talk with your mouth full." Kenny begged, flicking a crumb of the laptop's keyboard.  
  
Max turned to Ray, grinning as always, "Why are you worried about Kai? He can take care of himself."  
  
"Yeah, I know but..." Ray paused for a moment, taking a deep breathe, before producing the knife, dropping it on the table as if it were toxic. "He left this in our room..."  
  
Even Tyson stopped eating to stare at the bloody dagger. "You don't think..."  
  
"I don't know, that's why I was hoping Kai was here." Ray sighed, "I'm worried about him."  
  
"Think we should go look for him?" Max asked, the usual smile gone from his face.  
  
"Nah, its not like it would do any good. All he'll do is tell us to go away and that he's 'fine'."  
  
"Maybe he's back in your room, Ray." Kenny suggested, still pale and breathless from the sight of the knife.  
  
Ray nodded, "Maybe... I'll go see." He got up.  
  
"Hey, wait up, we'll come too." Tyson interrupted. Grabbing a few muffins, he followed the others out of the restaurant.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Kai snuck into the room. Finding it empty, he breathed a sigh of relief. Now, if only he could find it before Ray reappeared...  
  
Working systematically, Kai began to search through his things. After failing to find it there, he frowned in worry and began to search his half of the room. Becoming more anxious as his search continued without success.  
  
'Where is it? Oh, please don't tell me that Ray found it, I don't want to have to explain myself to them...'  
  
"Looking for something Kai?" The blader in question swung around to face Tyson, along with Max, Ray and Kenny. There faces were oddly serious, even Max's.  
  
Though his face didn't show it, Kai was worried. It seemed as if they knew... But what would they think? He couldn't seem weak in front of his team. In hidden desperation, Kai said the only thing that he could think of, "Hnn."  
  
"Can't you say anything else, Kai?" The dragon yelled all at once.  
  
Kai turned to him, raising an eyebrow in a silent gesture that pretty much meant something along the lines of; 'Like what?'  
  
"Kai, we're worried about you." Kenny explained, adjusting his glasses slightly as the garnet eyes shifted their gaze to him.  
  
"I'm fine." Kai's voice was harsh, "I don't see why you'd think otherwise."  
  
"You're not fine, Kai." Ray's voice was quiet and serious, "We found this. And think you should explain."  
  
And with that, Kai's heart skipped a beat, eyes widening ever so slightly, the only thought that crossed his mind was 'they know.' And he mentally cursed himself.  
  
Because held out in Ray's hand was the bloodied knife. 


	5. The End of The Matter

Kai: The author is _still_ hiding behind her bed- from her own story no less!  
  
TT: *distant* But it's scary... I'm scared to think that _I_ wrote that!!!  
  
Kai: -_-'' Well, anyway, this is- most thankfully- the last chapter for this story-  
  
TT: So review!!!  
  
Kai: Quite interupting or get out here and do this yourself!  
  
TT: T_T I'll be good...  
  
Kai: So, please, _don't_ review, the author doesn't need to be encourage, she needs to be subduded.  
  
TT: Hey!!  
  
Kai: *ignoring TT* And as for the disclaimer, well, if she owned BeyBlade, I would have quit years ago!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Kai's eyes widened at the sight of the knife, before narrowing as he looked up at Ray, "Where did you get that?"  
  
Ray raised an eyebrow, "You dropped in on your way out."   
  
There was a slight pause and Kenny took a deep breath, willing himself to speak, "So, care to explain?"  
  
Kai growled, yeah right. First they find out he'd deliberately cut himself- something he most defiantly didn't want his team to know, and then they wanted an explanation? Kai gave then his trademark glare, snatching the knife out of Ray's hand.  
  
"Kai, we're worried about you." The raven-haired blader's voice held a distinct note of pleading.  
  
For a moment, Kai stared at Ray. His usual glare hiding the shock. Once again, Ray insisted that they cared about him... But no, that just couldn't be. No one ever cared about him. The thought was bizarre to the point of being ridiculous. He closed his eyes and turned away, crossing his arms stubbornly.  
  
"WHY DO YOU KEEP PUSHING US AWAY, KAI?!" Tyson yelled at the stoic blader, who showed no sign that he was even listening. "IS IT THAT HARD FOR YOU TO BELIEVE THAT WE ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT YOU."  
  
There was a pause, then Kai opened his eyes and turned to Tyson, his shadowed gaze piercing into his soul, "Yes."  
  
There was a stunned silence amongst his teammates. They glanced at each other, then Ray spoke again, his voice quiet. "What do you mean, Kai? Of course we care about you. You're our friend."  
  
Kai's face darkened. Friends? He didn't have friends, never had, and never would. No one cared about him, and he cared for no one else. It was as simple as that. "No, we're teammates. Nothing more."  
  
"You don't really believe that, do you Kai?" Max's usually cheerful voice was, for once, serious. His eyes seemed to be begging the other. "I mean, come on, after all we've been through... You can't think that, can you?"  
  
Kai raised an eyebrow, "Why not?" Vainly, he tried to ignore the voice in his head asking why he should.  
  
"Kai..." Now there was despair in Ray's voice. Kai felt a pang of guilt inside of him, and he unconsciously clutched the knife tighter in his grip.  
  
Why did he feel so bad for making them upset? It wasn't like he _cared_ about them or anything... Heck, he didn't even know how to care!  
  
And yet...  
  
And yet, here he was, having a 'conversation' with them. Why? Because they were worried about him and he, for some reason, wanted to put their minds at ease.  
  
It was probably because he didn't want them to be thinking about him when they should be focused on beyblading... Yes that was it...  
  
And now all he had to do was ignore the little voice in his head whispering 'liar'.  
  
Kai felt as if his remaining sanity was about to shatter at any moment. He longed to retreat back into the walls of his emotionless shield- or was it a prison? But _they_ wouldn't let him.  
  
Every time he tried, they pulled him out again, regardless of what he wanted. But he needed to get away from the confusion, the strange emotions that wouldn't leave him alone. He didn't know any other way too.  
  
The knife suddenly felt warm in his hand. Well, okay, he only knew one other way. But he really didn't want to turn back to it again.  
  
His face was angry, a mask for the confusion he felt. With a last glare, he shoved past and stormed out of the hotel. The moment he was on the street, he started running.  
  
Hoping against all hope that running from his problems could solve them.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Kai!" Ray ran out of the building after the other blader. He saw a flash of Kai's scarf out of the corner of his eye, but nothing else.  
  
Running around the corner he had seen Kai go, he found the street empty. There was no sign of the other. Ray sighed helplessly. "Oh Kai..."  
  
"Ray!" The raven-haired teen turned to see the rest of his team run up, "Where's Kai?!" Tyson all but shouted.  
  
Ray shook his head, "I lost him."  
  
Mumbling something that sounded suspiciously like a curse under his breath, Tyson looked around, "Well, lets go find him! He couldn't have gone far."  
  
With a nod from the others, they ran off, searching vainly for their teammate.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Kai had found himself in a park not that far away. The park was quiet and peaceful, with grass, trees, and a stream running through the center.  
  
Currently, Kai was standing on the bridge, leaning forward on the rail and staring at the water below.  
  
The knife was still held tightly in his hand. A part of him wanted to crush it to dust, so that the bloodied object would never be seen again.  
  
But another part savored its presence, longed for its cool steel blade to help his body shed the tears he couldn't. To help him escape the confusion and distress the foreign emotions brought him.  
  
But to do so, to do this to himself, made him weak. Emotions drove him insane, made him weak as well. It seemed his grandfather had been right...  
  
Kai hated himself for thinking that.  
  
Opening his fist, Kai stared down at the bloodied knife. Like a silent savior, or a silent destroyer. Or maybe it was both...  
  
It offered him escape, freedom from the emotions he couldn't understand.  
  
But its price was his weakness, his blood, its control over him, taking away the freedom it offered to give.  
  
The knife's dark stone glimmered, taunting him, as if it knew what Kai was thinking, how Kai wasn't strong enough to get rid of the object that could give him such release from his pent-up emotions.  
  
Kai could have sworn it was gloating.  
  
Kai glared at the dagger, "This is all your fault!" He then froze, and shook his head, "Great, now I'm talking to it." He turned back to the knife. He really should get rid of it.  
  
But he couldn't. He couldn't let himself, no matter how much he wanted to. It was as if he needed to know the dagger was there, an option for him to take, even if he didn't want to. He couldn't get rid of it.  
  
And the dagger knew that too.  
  
Kai clenched his fist around it. His mind felt as if it were about to explode, everything was getting to him, driving him crazy. He wanted to throw back up his mental walls, keep everything away from him. But know that they had been rediscovered, his emotions refused to be shunted away again.  
  
It was as if his only escape was the one he didn't want to use.  
  
Emotions were weak, how many times had he been told that? How many times had he told himself that? Emotions were weak, depending on anyone or anything other than yourself was weak.  
  
Yet they were strong enough to do this to him... It seemed he was weak too.  
  
A sting of pain brought him back to reality. He opened his fist. The blade had cut a small line on the palm of his hand. Fresh blood stained the blade, and his fingers. The pain seemed to give him something else to focus on, made him forget and lose the battle he was fighting in his own head.  
  
He savored the feeling, or was it lack of? But at the same time, he hated it.  
  
'Kai, we're worried about you.' Kai tensed as memories and voices, fresh in his mind, suddenly replayed in his head.  
  
'Is it that hard to believe we actually care about you?' Yes, of course it was. No one cared about him. But, why would they lie, anyway?  
  
'You're our friend.' He didn't have friends. Friends were weak, that's what he'd always been taught.  
  
The voices of his teammates suddenly faded, replaced by another. 'Emotions, friendship, they're all weak!' He could almost feel the punches that were received with every word, 'I will not tolerate weakness!'  
  
And yet, it seemed Kai was weak... But, better weak than like his grandfather...  
  
Like a jolt of electricity, another thought entered the stamped. He'd first stopped cutting... Because it had made him no different to his grandfather...  
  
Kai stared down at the knife in horror. 'We're you're friends, Kai, is that so hard for you to understand?!'  
  
'Emotions are weak, and weakness will not be tolerated!'  
  
'Better weak than like Voltaire...'  
  
And still the bloodied knife gleamed in his hand.  
  
With a sudden surge of resolved hatred towards himself, to the thought he was like Voltaire, Kai flung the knife into the river.  
  
Everything seemed to freeze. Then, the memories seemed to bubble away, back to their corner deep beneath the folds of his mind.  
  
Without the opportunity to escape, the thoughts and emotions that plagued him simmered down, still there, but no long threatening to drive him insane.  
  
Kai felt something else, not quite peace, not quite content, but something in between those two. Something akin to relief.  
  
"KAI!!!" The two-toned haired blader turned to see his team- or was it his friends?- running towards him.  
  
"Kai, there you are! We were worried about you!" Ray was the first to speak.  
  
"You were?" There was still confusion in his voice. Why would anyone be worried about him? But no more doubt over whether Ray was speaking the truth or not. After all, they had no reason to lie.  
  
"You bet we were! We've been looking everywhere for you!" Kai blinked at Tyson. They cared?  
  
Kenny cleared his throat nervously, "Ah, Kai? Where's the..." He couldn't finish his sentence, but he didn't have to.  
  
Kai paused, before turning back and looking into the stream in front of him. The others paused, trying to work out what he meant, before turning to look into the stream to.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Somewhere at the bottom of the stream, lay a silver dagger. The water had washed off the blood, leaving it clean and gleaming in the sun's light.  
  
The slightly bloodied water was away with the current, leaving alone a knife with a bright green stone in the hilt.  
  
TheEnd!TheEnd!TheEnd!TheEnd!TheEnd!  
  
TT: *peeks out from behind her bed* Is it over?  
  
Kai: -_-' Yes. Can I go now?  
  
TT: No!! I'm going to need you for another story or one shot... As soon as I think of one ^^;;  
  
Kai: ...Whatever... What's with the stone in the knife? It was black until the very end.  
  
TT: Oh, its jade.  
  
Kai: ??  
  
TT: I've got this jade necklace, and most of the line it looks black, but if you look at it from a distance or a certain angle it looks bright green!  
  
Kai: ...Okay...  
  
TT: Well, thats the story! Hope you like! And if anyone sends me a flame... Well, I'll thank you because I like fire!  
  
Kai: ... Author no baka. 


End file.
